


Delicate Joke

by DianaBanana777



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Angry Bruce Wayne, Angry Joker (DCU), Angst, Bruce Has Issues, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jealous Bruce Wayne, Jealous Joker (DCU), Jealousy, Joker (DCU) Angst, Joker (DCU) Whump, M/M, Other, Protective Bruce Wayne, Suicide Attempt, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:41:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27717638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianaBanana777/pseuds/DianaBanana777
Summary: Bruce kissed the Joker one rainy night. But he is marrying Selina Kyle. The Joker wants Selina Kyle dead. And who's that man that is glued to the Joker?
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne, Joker (DCU)/Original Male Character(s), Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Talia al Ghul/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> I wonder why no one makes batcat wedding vs Batjokes. This is my take on it.

Joker was sitting on the window looking at the bat signal with tears on his eyes. He cleaned them and then he lifted his cup of chocolate that Harley made for him.

He breathed the hot steam and drank from it. Except he almost chokes on the liquid thanks to his throat constricting while he sobbed.

There was a newspaper on Joker's feet that read 'Bruce Wayne's Wedding Announce! Is it true?'

He should've teared out the kitty's claws from the first time she scratched his Bat. Maybe, just maybe, he had to just do that. He had too, he had too, he had too, no, he will.

Joker grabbed the cup and smashed it on the wall. But it wasn't fair to his Bat was it? No. No it wasn't fair to him. After the Bat got his hopes up? After the Bat kissed him on that roof? Why would he go and marry... a cat. Is it the fur? Cats without fur are horrendous darling! I should know, I skinned one alive. Ha. Maybe, maybe that's what he needs. 

Joker grabbed the sharp porcelein. He has to skin the cat for his Bats to see how horrible she truly is. 

Mmm. But what to do. So many options. Joker began pacing around the room looking at all the plans scattered. His eye fixed on one. He was going to shoot the Commishioner's daugher. Heh. Clip the fake bat's wings. Well, now he has to skin the cat alive. It'll break HER. alive. No one messes with his Bat. A those who do... well, they get personal treat from himself. 

The Clown Prince of Crime. Joker laughed at the top of his lungs. A skinned Cat! A clipped fake Bat! Batcat. He growled, maybe he'll do both.

As much as Joker likes to have all his Bat's attention, he can't have his Bat wanting to dance. And oh, how much Joker wants his Bats to choke him with that pair of strong hands. While he presses his black body to his, so tight, so so tight. He can almost feel him choking already. 

"Pudding!" Harley knocked on the door. 

The Joker quickly took away his hands from his neck. "Leave me alone HARLEY!"

"But Puddin-"

"Get. OUT" He heard Harley walking down the stairs. She ruined his mood. Maybe he'll get rid of her too while he's at it. Joker opened the door and said "HARLEY"

"Yes! Pudding!"

"Go buy Milk!"

"Ok Pudding"

He slammed the door and jumped on the bed. 

.......................................

Bruce ran through the rooftops. What was wrong with him? He had kissed the Joker. He kissed his mortal enemy and then proposed to Selina. And she said yes! He didn't expext her to say yes, but she did.

Heck, he thought she would ran and never come back. After Talia... he never got his hopes up. 

Let's just say that everyone was pleased. Alfred looked so proud. And it hurt to lie to him that after Talia he can't even think about touching Selina. 

Yes, that's it. That's why he kissed Joker, to let go of his sexual frustration. He heard the Joker's usual flirtations, all that adrenaline pummping through his blood, and his body pressed against the Madman's body. 

Yes that's it. And he can't change his mind. He has to put his feelings aside and marry Selina now. Preferably the saturday. He is rich, he can make a wedding happen in less than 5 days. There's no coming back. 

He has to break up this thing that he has with Joker. Luckily he knows where he is.

......................

Joker felt that tingling sensation that he always felt when his Bats is around. He always welcomes his Bats presence, but he can't ruin the surprise. "HARLEY"

She'll have to serve as bai- wait she's buying milk. Joker threw the papers of his plan to the floor. Better not give away his surprise too early. Can't that blond do anything right?

Batman bursted through the window knocking down Joker to the ground. But Joker stabbed him with a... a... broken tea cup? 

I feel so sorry for the guards at Arkham thought Bruce.

Batman held his ground and pinned Joker to the floor. "Heh, heh, Bats. You missed this poor clown already?"

"You'll be poor after I'm done with you"

"I know I won't stand up for days Batsy baby"

"NO! You sick freak-"

Joker sliced Batman's mouth with the broken cup. Bruce fell down in surprice, the Joker had never touched his face with scars. There is something off about the Joker, but Bruce couldn't think what it because Joker kicked him through the window. Bruce grabbed the Joker and pulled him down. They both fell. Usually Batman protects Joker from the falls, but he has to break whatever is happening between them, fast. And keep him away from his wedding. Good thing Joker doesn't know his identity.

"I'm done with you Joker. You're going to Arkham"

Arrh. So that Cat had really shaked his Bats. Brucie baby is breaking up and denying our passionate kiss. "Tt, denial, denial, Batsy."

Batman slammed the Joker on the floor. Joker took that opportunity to use his acid flower. The Bat rolled to the side dodging it. "You and I are meant to be. Forever."

The Joker is delusional. He and I don't belong together. There is no he and I. Only me. I'm marrying Selina for fuck's sake. Why is body responding to his touches?

"No one can stand between us, didn't you have a birdy?"

Jason. How dare the clown remind me of Jason? How dare he. Batman used the new darts that Tim made to knock down metas. Well, this will have to do. Bruce can't fail right now. There is no chance he'll let Joker take hostages on the next days until his wedding. He needs no distrations to plan the wedding.

He knows using the darts will infuriate Joker and start a massive body count next time he escapes. But Bruce is too angry for Jason to even care.

..........................................................

Selina looked herself in the mirror. A beautiful white and black dress she wore. But to her, it was a new kind of live. She felt naked without her fur. Without her Catwoman outfit. After this, she will no longer steal.

"The Cat is finally getting domesticated." Selina looked through the mirror and saw Ivy standing with a pot of flowers. "Why are you here?"

"I brough your wedding gift." Selina smiled, only Ivy would gift fresh flowers. And catnip no less. "You know I can buy anything now don't you? You didn't have to bring me flowers Ivy"

"Well, I'm sure that boyfriend of yours can buy you a city. I always thought you would end up with the Bat instead of some rich kid"

You have no idea Ivy. "He can't domesticate this cat." Ivy made the catnip grow a little bit more. "You prefer to be a model for Bruce Wayne to fuck or a housewife for Batman without freedom?"

Selina walked closer. "I'm not just a woman to warm Bruce's bed." She knows she isn't just a little wife who Bruce will cheat no. No, that isn't what worries her. Her freedom is what worries her. Batman will not take that freedom. The freedom of danger and adrenaline that always gets this cat high. More than any catnip will. Selina touched the flowers.

"Either he treats you right, or I can always turn him into a tree."

"Bruce wouldn't want dirt on the house to stay on. If he ever becames a tree." She joked knowing it was Alfred who would plant his ward outside on the garden rather than inside the house. As silly as it is to think Batman will turn into a tree. Though, she has seen Ivy turn people into trees...

"He better let you take the catnip inside the house. You have to water it. And with that huge mansion. I don't think you want to walk a mile to water the plant. It will die, and is your responsability to keep it alive."

"Bruce will not prevent me from watering the catnip, that by the way, will make my cats high." Bruce will let me keep the catnip, just like Batman will let his cat take her daily dose of adrenaline through the rooftops.

"Here. I have to get back to Harley. She's crying because the Bat captured Joker again." Mmm, so Bruce wants everything to go perfect.

"Bye Ivy"

...........................................

Bruce waited, and waited for hours for Selina to arrive. He knew something was up when Sel told Barbara, Cass, and Stephanie to wait on the ceremony. He should've known better. He should'v-

"Bruce, it's fine. I don't think she'll come." Dick patted his back. Damian rolled his eyes. Father doesn't need to be comforted Richard.

"You don't think! She never had the intention to show up."

"Master Jason" Alfred scolded Jason for making Bruce feel even worst. But Bruce wasn't feeling that bad. He knows he should. But he doesn't care. The only thing on his mind right now, is that Joker hasn't escaped Arkham. Joker has holed up on the asylum up to no good. All those plans that Bruce made in case Joker broke out were useless. He didn't even try.

The clown always took all the space of his thoughts. His mind always came back to the Joker. And in his wedding no less. What is it about Joker that he can't keep him out of his mind? And that kiss? Wasn't Joker mad about Batman breaking up with him? Why hasn't he showed up? Why was Bruce even wanting for Joker to show up?

"Bruce. There was this note on the flower arrangement"

"Why were you snooping on the flower arrangement Replacement?"

Damian rolled his eyes again. Tim won't stay out of people's business. His invation of privacy is atrocious. Stalker should've been his vigilante persona.

Bruce

I'm sorry for everything, but after the talk I had with Ivy... I realized you will only bring me down and cut my claws. I love my freedom more than I love you Bruce. I thought I could play wife with you. But the truth is that I can't be domesticated. I'm sorry. I have to take some time off.

Yours, Selina.

Dissapointment settled in Bruce's gut. After all this years, Selina always loved what we had. What I ruined with a leash on her neck. I did this to our relationship. If what we had can be called relationship. It was my fault. Everything is always my fault.

Talia. Selina. God what is wrong with me? Bruce buried his face in his hands. Tears threatening to fall out.

"What will you do Bruce?" Hope this doesn't break Bruce. I'll have to pick up the pieces.

"I'm going to Arkham." I have to find out what that 'talk' was. "The note was on the flower arrangement. No?"

"Yes"

Maybe Ivy did this.


	2. The OC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce goes to Arkham and talks to Ivy about the note

Two guards grabbed the Joker by the waist while he kicked another guard who was trying to hold his feet. The two guards pressed him against the wall but Joker started to hit his head with the wall It was a maddening crack. The guy on the floor composed himself to hold Joker's leg. The nurse trembling from the blood and the piercing screams that hurt her ears managed to inject Joker with a substance that can put to sleep elephants. 

"Aghh." No, no, no, no. Let me kill her. LET ME KILL HER! I WILL SKIN HER ALIVE. 

He slowly fell from the wall to the white cushioned tile of the Arkham Asylum cells. "Try to breathe" 

The Nurse, still shaking, nodded. "Fucking bastard" murmured another. 

..........................................

"I'm your new therapist, Mr. Loughty pleasure to know you Mr. Joker" 

Joker's eyes gleaned in delight. "Mr. Laughty?" 

"Mr. Loughty" 

"Mr. Laughty '' Joker assured with a fake seductive voice. The doctor stared like he had grown too heads. "Oh please doctor! Don't be such a mood killer. With that face, you'll never get any fun" The Joker giggled at the shocked expression of the young doctor. Unprofessional. Shouldn't they have learned after Harley? 

The Doctor quickly recomposed himself and ignored him completely. "Let's talk about your sleep. You kept repeating 'I'm going to kill her''" The doctor stopped and looked at the change in Joker's expression, it went from playful? To murder glint. Much like the photos of psychopaths after they killed their victims. "Mind telling me who that is?" 

Joker smiled and said "Anyone Doctor. There's many people I would kill. Haven't you seen the numbers? 

"You keep track?" 

"Of course not, but I know that little commissioner does" 

"1 million" The doctor didn't seem faced with that number. Mmm, this, smiley? Laugh- laughty, seems to not care about killing. Too bad, this poor old Joke won't make Laughty laugh today. Hahaha. Audiences without the Bat's sense of humor are harder to make laugh. 

The Joker just laughed until he gasped for air. Oh maybe he'll paint the number all over the GCPD with blood, 'oh ho it would be hilarious! It will make my Batsy explode with rage, and then he will grab my neck and-' 

"Mr. Joker. I don't think you should do that" 

"This" Joker pressed harder to his neck. "You see Doctor, this is my catnip, this is my drug-" 

The Doctor took further notes and said "that's all." 

The Joker raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Apparently, the good old doctor had cutted his session from 4 hours to 30 minutes. Maybe they had learned after all. No worries though, he smiled, more time to escape for his bat. 

On the way to his cell Harley gave him a note. It read 'Puddin! There's a new inmate and the new doc says he's gonna stay in your cell' 

What? Mr. Laughty sure lost his mind, or maybe I lost mine? 

The guy was drugged out of his mind when they dropped him. "Hello?" The Joker kicked him in the foot. 

"It smells" 

Joker sighed and then laughed. 

"Hey! Drop the weapon" The Joker holded a pen to the guy's neck. Next thing he knows, he gets hit with a dart, again. 

He wakes up in the solitary ward with a guard pointing a gun at him. "Therapy session" Dumbfounded Joker managed to get to the office. 'I need something sharp' 

"Hello Mr. Joker" 

"Laughty" 

"How are you feeling today" 

"Mmm, feelings, feelings, I thought I was a psychopath, or has your mind changed doctor?" 

"Let's talk about killing her" 

"Again?" 

"Yes" 

The Joker stopped listening and studied the Doctor, no kids, no wife, has the mind of a killer. Doesn't care that he almost killed the guy earlier. Speaking of... 

"You know Mr. Laughty." The doc looked up, "from all the other doctors, you remind me of Strange" 

"Hugo Stranger? Nevermind, tell me about her-" 

"Don't change the topic Mr. Laughty, you don't care about the patients. I mean, you let a guy into my cell! Isn't that outrageous! Imagine if Batsy-" 

"If Batman what" He said pissed. Joker did not notice the nervous look of the doctor. He remembered the wedding now that Batman was brought up.

"What date is it?" 

"Does this have to do with 'her'?" 

"WHAT DATE IS IT?" The new Doctor was staring to piss him off.

"Mr. Joker"

He grabbed the pen and stabbed the Doctor in his shoulder. "What. Is. The. Date?" 

"June 22nd" 

Joker's heart skipped a bit. Yesterday was the wedding. No, no, no. That Bitch took my Bats away. Batman fought with me, and then kissed me. He made me a promise with that kiss, and he broke it the next day. 

Worst, Brucie broke into my house, beat the crap out of me, and sent me to the asylum locked up with another 'Hugo Strange' who will undoubtly torture me. 

*Sob* A-and then married the cat. Her round face with her puffy cheeks and feline eyes. No wonder Brucie had the h-hots for her. In fact, the brats loved her because maybe they talked about their feelings all together like a family. Joker spat the last word. While the clown who claims to love that handsome piece of ass destroys the people he loves and cuddles in the Batcave or that mansion of his. 

Joker froze and suddenly couldn't see the doctor. Everything was blurry and grey. His hands tried to grab for anything, anything, but there was nothing to hold onto. Not his Bats, nor Gotham, nor Death. 

The Joker cried out in frustration. "Security! SECURITY! He's having a manic episode." The Doctor watched as Joker tore his hair apart and hit his head against the table. 

Joker never felt the dart hitting his neck. 

When he wakes up, the guy is on top of him and the Joker gasps at the closeness. He was breathing in his neck, and Joker could feel that nicely dick pressed against him. 

But Joker wasn't thinking about that, no, no, no. No, his Bats married the stupid cat and he had done nothing to skin the cat. That stupid dart had knocked him for three days. THREE!!! And now it had surely knocked him for 3 days again, if the soreness from his body was any indication. 

Then everything came back to him. Batman was married to Catwoman. A nice wedding with all the brat bats and the heros. Brucie laughing and kissing someone that wasn't him a-and- 

A sob ripped, when was the last time he had cried? When Daddy had thrown Mommy down the stairs? Or when his wife left ashamed of him? 

His chest was tight and his vision went blurry again. It was this broken feeling that the Joker felt again, but this time he grabbed something. Who was on top of him? Right the guy from earlier. Only his Bats and him existed before... but now he wasn't so sure. This new player needed a name. 

A sob broke out of his soft lips which made him react and cover his eyes from the humiliation. Though, the body that crushed him made it difficult to stretch his pale arms. 

"Hey'' It sounded so weak and miserable unlike the Joker. "Hey, hey, John? You look like a John. G-get of me or I'll kill you. Just because this clown is crying instead of laughing doesn't mean I won't have your head on a plate!" Joker practically growled the last part but he froze. This Johny rubbed himself against him. 

"Agh" Joker choked. Did Ivy dose him off? He could kill him, but now he had an erection. Great, just great, Johny made him hot all over and isn't even awake. Normal people can't stand Arkham drugs. 

He sighed, now he has to get off this guy. "Johny I'm going to-" 

John licked the sensible part of his pale neck. "Shit! Are you even awake!?" Fine, fine, Joker can work with a half asleep, drugged, and hypnotized guy. 

"Fuck me already" 

Joker laughed when he saw the guard's face fall. So they weren't expecting for me to fuck the mindless guy! Ha! If they knew. How much the Joker needs this now, after the Bat... 

"AH!" Good thing the cells were soundproofed. 

OooooooooooOooooooooooOooooooooooO 

Bruce paced in the Batcave. Ivy talked with Selina 3 days before the wedding. Dick and Damian captured her so Bruce can interrogate her now. But he can't go as Batman, he has to go as Bruce Wayne. It shouldn't be hard, considering he was on the board of directors. 

"Alfred!" 

"Yes, Master Wayne" Alfred gave the water to Bruce who responded "I'm going to Arkham" 

"Shall I prepare the Batsuit sir?" 

"No, I'm going as Bruce Wayne" 

"Excuse my words Master Wayne, but it isn't dangerous to go as Bruce Wayne and talk to Ivy when you have no relation to her?" 

"How did you-? Nevermind Alfred, I have to know if Selina didn't go away for something Ivy told her" 

"And what exactly would have Ivy said to make Miss Kyle go away" 

"I don't know Alfred, but I have to know" 

"Is it because you want Miss Kyle back, or because you doubt you made an error by proposing to Miss Kyle?"

Bruce thought it for a second. Did he want to marry Selina? Or did he propose to her to forget about that kiss? No, he wanted Selina. But another part of him whispered that he never expected Selina to say yes. 

Bruce took the lamborghini and drove to Arkham. The new head doctor greeted him. "I want a tour of the facility" 

"Mr. Wayne these are dangerous criminals and-" 

"Please! I always wanted to meet the scum who paralyzes my city with fear." He noticed the doctor grit his teeth in annoyance probably thinking that a rich brat like Wayne could never know of the danger that came with being a normal Gotham citizen. At least the doctor sneered at him only because of that and not because Bruce threatened to take away his money. 

Bruce has hope on the new doctor. He knew what to look for in Doctors who wanted to experiment with the patients like Hugo, but this new Doctor looked the kind to shut up and do his job. 

Arkham's guard looked so tense. If Bruce had to guess, it was because Joker hadn't escaped. Usually he escaped in a week, but he had 9 days in the Asylum. 

Both walked through the dirty hallways that the light barely lit. They arrived at the room he didn't want to be in. Harvey touched the panel looking sad at Bruce. The doctor started mumbling about the new cell from Wayne Enterprises. Behind him, Bruce mouthed silently to Harley

"I'm fine" 

"No, you're not. I'm sorry Bruce" 

"Don't worry. I'm-" But Bruce's eyes betrayed him and the pain in his chest didn't help exactly. "I know you're not fine. I can feel it Bruce. Take care of yourself." 

They didn't have more time to talk silently because the doctor opened the next gate. Bruce straightened himself and walked to see the plants scattered over the cell. "I need to talk to her" 

"But Mr. Wayne-" Bruce handed him the 10,000 thousand dollar pack of money and watched how the Doctor's face went from fake worry to incredulous. Nonetheless, the doctor gave them some privacy and disconnected the camera through the earpiece. "Miss Ivy" 

"Bruce Wayne, the playboy" 

"What can I say they come to me, I don't force them" 

"Ah, but you use them" Bruce knows Ivy hates men so he has to play this right if he wants answers. 

"True, but only for body satisfaction. I don't hurt their feelings. It is an exchange for money. Like work." Ivy's face went pink for embarrassment. "I heard about the wedding, but I don't know what makes you think I had anything to do with it" 

"Selina left me a note mentioning you." It was a lie, but how else was Bruce supposed to tell her that his ex-Fiancee left a note on the flower arrangement and because of his detective skills, he supposed Ivy had something to do with Selina escaping. "I only told her if she wanted to be a model for you to fuck" 

"I know my reputation speaks of me badly but she was going to be my wife" Bruce didn't say he loved her, because isn't sure he does. Not after the wedding. "Mmm, you know" Ivy cane closer to the 6 inches glass. 

"Maybe she left you to be with the Bat. I think she only wanted to have your money Bruce Wayne" she accentuated his name. This was pointless, Ivy had nothing to do with Selina. 

"But I think she went after the Bat either. With her reputation, I'm sure Bat freak was going to take away her freedom" 

Is that why Selina left? He chucked drily, he should've known better. Catwoman was never going to stop robbing, not even for him. He understands now, he wouldn't stop being Batman for her either. Nobody wanted to be with Bruce, Brucie 'Playboy' Wayne, or Batman. They wanted to be with the real Bruce Wayne or at least the Bruce that was meant for his kids. 

"Mr. Wayne" 

"I'm done" 

The next cell was Joker's. Bruce did not want to see him but the doctor was waiting for him. Bruce sighed and went inside. "This is WHAT!?" 

Bruce's mouth opened at the sight of a naked Joker and a guy fucking him raw on the small bed. What? Jo-what? Who is that guy? Why is he in Joker's cell? 

Johny was fucking the Joker raw while said clown was crying out 'more' and 'yeah' Though the guy and Joker froze when they heard the Doctor. 

Bruce eyed the guards with an open mouth. One guard shifted his foot from another clearly uncomfortable while the other was sweating and trying not to fangirl over having Bruce Wayne in the asylum. "What's going on in here?!" The exasperated Doctor demanded. 

'Batsy.' The Joker thought. 'Brucie Kyle.' Then he felt his eyes water again. 'No, he ruined their dance, not him. He doesn't deserve this clown.' "What Doctor?" He said with every venom in his voice. "Policy says that cellmates can have sex. Not just because the Asylum never saw me have sex with Harley doesn't mean I won't have sex if they give me a cellmate. Or was Brucie Moneybags Wayne not supposed to see a criminal enjoying sex like a normal human being?" 

His face shifted to Bruce. "Or is Brucie too sadistic to allow criminals some decency?" 

Bruce menatally groaned. These people saw him like a playboy, even Joker. He suddenly got mad, did Joker want to play like that? Fine, he wasn't going to let Joker be fucked by some guy. "Doctor, why do they let a monster enjoy human necessities?" His heart knows it's wrong, but he was uncomfortable to know Joker was mad because his sex was interrupted. 

"Please Brucie, didn't you know that even criminals have lovers?" 

Lover. This made Bruce madder. Who was that guy anyways. He looked drugged out of his mind. Had Joker done something to him? Even drugged, he had a firm hold on Joker's hips. Bruce tried to be subtle about looking. But he couldn't stop staring at those hands like they had personally insulted Bruce to his face. He wanted nothing but to pry that man out of the cell and demand what Joker was thinking. What... what the doctor was thinking by allowing a person inside Joker's cell. 

Why was the man inside the Joker still? Shouldn't have the doctor order them to stop already? 

Bruce turned to the doctor for some answers. The doctor awkwardly stared at him. "Well?" 

"Um, what?" 

"Aren't you going to seperate them?" 

"Mr. Wayne, it is policy to-" 

"But why is a man inside the cell with the Joker? I thought he was supposed to be in solitary?" Bruce smacked himself. Bruce wasn't supposed to know about Arkham rules. 

The Doctor lied to save his neck. "Y-yeah but Mr. Joker has shown improvement over the last 9 days without disrupting anything. Besides he asked us nicely if his lover-" 

"Johnny," the Joker stated. 

"Ah, Johny, could stay in his cell to pass time together." Joker narrowed his eyes at the Doctor. 

Bruce looked doumfolded between Joker and the Doctor. 

'He asked what?!' 

"Then why did you take me to his cell if they were going to spend time together?" Bruce gritted his teeth, none of this was making sense. He was too surprised to notice the lice and Joker's face. 

"W-well Mr. Wayne. You suddenly came for a tour. I couldn't kn-" 

Bruce had to cool down before he gave his identity to the Joker. Which he shouldn't now more than ever because if Joker knew that he was going to marry Selina Kyle after he kissed him, Joker would skin Catwoman alive. He shuddered and thinking of that image. "I understand," he said, not so sure. "I-I have to go." 

It was too much, Selina's rejection, the reason why she escaped, Harvey of all people feeling sorry for him, Joker with a lover. He was going insane in Arkham. He has to get out of here. Now. 

The door closed leaving the doctor and Joker silent. "You two get out." 

"Call us if he does anything" the guards got out escorting Bruce out. 

The cell was too quiet. Only Joker's heavy breathing could be heard. "Mr. Joker you understand that if Bruce Wayne had known I left you with a person drugged with Ivy' pollen-" 

The Joker snarled like a hungry dog clearly mad because they left a guy that could've raped him while he was down by the darts. 

"-he could've demonetize the whole Asylum sending all patients to Blackgate" 

Of course Joker knows that Batman is the only one maintaining the asylum alive. He couldn't afford to keep the criminals in blackgate. 

"Lover?" The Joker growled. "I barely even know the guy Laughty!" 

"Well, it doesn't h-hurt does it?" Joker slammed his fist against the glass. "You better fix this Doctor" he whispered the last part. 

"Don't worry. The Asylum has prioritized it's patient's confidentiality" he gulped and then left the Joker. 

Joker sighted and looked at the mess in his cell. He noticed he wasn't hard anymore and that he should kill the guy... maybe later. He had a cat to skin after all.


	3. What a Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker goes to a charity ball.

Joker sat on the cold coughing floor with a blank expression. Not moving at all. Almost catatonic. 

There was nothing he could do. No crimes to scheme, no decorations, no plans, nothing. "Your food is here clown." The guard mocked while he kicked the Joker on the side. But he didn't make a sound. Just started the floor. 

A few hours later and they took away the untouched food. They also dragged him through the corridors to the showers. There he saw Harvey who looked worried to death. "Joker" he greeted, but Joker stayed silent. Not even a smile. Even Oswarld eyed him but stayed silent nonetheless. 

Forward the next day and everyone was talking about the silent Joker. There were rumors that the new doctor had fried his brain. Upon hearing this Harley stabbed a fork on the doctor and so they left her in solitary. Ivy tried to defend her so she was also in solitary. 

The guards threw Joker on the couch. Everybody went silent after they saw him. 

"Maybe his new cellmate touched him" 

"Please Oswald, the clown would tear anyone apart who dares touch him" 

"I heard from a guard he was crying like a bitch after he had sex with Johny" 

"Who's Johnny Harvey?" 

"His new cellmate" 

"See Ed, that Johny must've done something to him" 

"Or maybe the doctor fried his brain, he tried with mine" 

"Wasn't that an accident?" Harvey asked Riddle. "Who knows everybody's crazy here, even the doctors" 

"Look here he comes," said Oswald. They dissimulated. The guards dragged Joker to the couch. "You owe me an escape from Arkham Ed, he has a hickey on his neck!" 

"Agh, don't gloat Oswald we'll go later."

Turns out they got out at the same time Joker got out.

* * *

Joker escaped with the help of Johnny after he recovered his mind. Little Johnny, Joker should know, offered his services as a henchman in exchange of his life and his mother's. And then they set off to find Selina Kyle. 

It wasn't hard to find her, some bribes here some bribes there. He was just stepping to the apartment when someone hugged him from behind. 

"Pudding!" 

Joker turned to see Harley with bags of groceries. What was she doing here? 

"Harley! Ah, what is my friendliest friend doing in this part of the town?" After their breakup and their usual fight, she decided to stay with Ivy. But the blond always had a soft spot for him. "I'm playing friend for the kitty, after she left all depresso that bimbo of hers on the altar" 

Joker gritted his teeth, so not only does she steal his Bats but she also- 

Wait. What? 

Left my bimbo on the altar. 

Oh ho, Kitty Cat left my Bats on the altar. I told him she wasn't good for him. But did he listen?! Nooo! Of course the big bad Bat would never listen to anyone! Not even his nemesis. 

"Really?! Hey, you, give me a newspaper" he commanded Johnny. It read 'Bruce Wayne left on the altar for being a Playboy' 

Joker chucked joylessly as he danced on the sidewalk. He was free again! And Joker didn't have to lift a finger. Now Batsy knows that no one should lay a finger on him. 

Still, he had to make sure Kitty didn't try anything. "Harley do me a favor." She narrowed his eyes at him. "I'll give you Lou if you do" 

"Fine!" 

"I need you to get me inside her house without her noticing" 

"Ah, but she trusts me" 

"Do you really think that?" Joker knows nobody trusts Harley except he and Ivy. "Ok" 

When he was inside, it wasn't hard to break into the kitchen. He was about to pour the venom on the food when the Cat said "yeah, but he doesn't even want to touch me" 

Huh, it was clear who she was talking about... but did his Bats really abstain from touching her? Was he shaken that much from their kiss? He giggled, maybe he didn't even have to kill her. They ruined each other! 

"No, Damian told me his mother raped him-" 

His body stiffened. Then he remembered his Bats flinching from Catwoman's hold in those rooftops when he thought that Bats only wanted him. After the kiss, he stopped thinking about Bats pushing the Cat away. But now... it wasn't Joker, it was Bats. 

His Bats was scared of women touching him. His bats... 

He stumbled out of the house not hearing Harley's voice nor Johny's questions. An animalistic growl came out of his teeth. Brucie was scared on his own skin, probably feeling the hands of that bitch running down his perfect muscles and- NO, Joker was going to tear her womb apart! I will tear her eyes out and send it to her Daddy!

* * *

"What is the meaning of this?" Joker made it to the family hallway where all the Al Ghuls were situated, but the ninjas got him before he could reach her room. 

"Move bag of bones! I came for that gal of yours" 

"Gal? Do you mean my daughter, clown?" Ra's was furious, how dare this clown break into his compound and demand for Talia? 

"Yes! Your little girl touched what is mine. Do you listen?" 

"Ah, the detective. I assure you my priorities remain in keeping the detective separate from Talia" Ra's had enough fooling of Talia and the detective, after the failed heir, he wants nothing but to separate them both. "I don't care she touched my Bats." Joker pouted like a child that was denied his toy. Ra's looked amused knowing well that the Jester will kill Talia. He must stop this assassination attept sunner than later. 

"I will assist you in wooing the Detective only if you leave my daughter alone." Joker thought about it for a few seconds. The Grandpa would make sure all fake dolls remain away from his Bats while Joker woes his Bats. Isn't this guy ancient? He must know some tricks. Perfect! 

"Fine! But I want a dress!" 

"A dress?" 

"You heard me" 

"What could you possibly want with a dress?" 

* * *

Joker strolled forward with a nervous looking Johny while everybody gaped at his beauty, more like her beauty. The old guy told him to make his Bats jealous, and where better to do it than a Charity Ball! This was perfect! 

He wore a purple dress and makeup to conceal his identity. Of course only his Bats can figure who he is, but not Bruce Wayne. He giggled, scaring a few socialites. 

The manor glowed with gold bright lights that killed the darkness that only Gotham is capable of bringing. The marble floors were so shiny and clean that Joker swears is whiter than his skin. And that chandelier! It was huge and had a guy on it. Joker tried not to pay attention to the guy that was on the chandelier. He pulled Johny away from the center just in case it fell. 

"B-boss, there is Bruce Wayne'' Joker looked and saw Brucie in the center. Welp, I have to save Batsy from getting crushed. "Let's go Johny, remember what I told you, act all clingy with me or I'll kill you" 

"Y-yes boss"

* * *

Bruce finished dressing in the mirror. When he looked up, he saw the Joker as his reflection. Can't get him out of my mind. Shaking his head, he walked out greeting Dick and Alfred. Dick shot him a "are you ok?" look, and Bruce mouthed "yes." 

After seeing Joker in Arkham, Bruce could only think about that scene. Joker pressed down on the floor with his bare ass on the air. Bruce is ashamed to admit that he came home only to jerk himself at the thought. It had been his first erection since he saw Talia again. Not even Selina made him that hot. In contrast, it made him want to puke reminding him of Talia. 

"Mr. Wayne" Bruce turned around and saw Clark. "Hello Mr..." 

"Kent, Clark Kent." Clark shook his hand. Bruce gave him a look asking if there was an emergency to which Clark replied a silent no. "And what brings you here Mr. Kent" 

"I was wondering about your engagement with Selina Kyle. I have a few questions if I may ask" 

"Sure," he replied, glaring at him subtly. "There are some rumors that Selina felt left out because you were seeing someone else, is that true Mr. Wayne?" 

Bruce knows Clark has to do his job, but he can't stop thinking about those pale thighs and that face in pleasure, and those sounds. It felt like betrayal to Selina, to think of running his hands on Joker, but his body said otherwise. He excused himself quickly knowing fully that Clark was going to talk to him later. 

He stopped his tracks when he pushed a woman out of the way. Her eyes were acidic green just like... Joker. Batman always knows when it's the clown. What was he doing here? And why was he dressed like a woman? 

His body heated at holding Joker's back to not let him fall to the floor. His nerves fired up on his pants so he let go of his back quickly. "Excuse me Miss-?" 

"Kerr, Miss Kerr" his voice sound femine and fooled everyone around expect for Batman. "Just Kerr?" 

"Yes" replied the man holding the Joker steady. Bruce eyed the man and saw Johny. He was wearing contact lenses, makeup, and painted his hair. His earlier anger came back but he pushed it down where it belonged. "And you are?" 

"John, John Kerr" Johnny felt the nails of his boss scratching his arm at the last name. Bruce's face fell for a second and Joker took notice. 

Good, his Bats needed to feel what he felt, in Ra's' words not his. If Batsy killed him and then revived him, Joker would forgive him in a heartbeat. 

Joker had sex with John and now he's faking a marriage with him? His throat tightened but he forced a "Do you like the party?" 

"Of course Mr. Wayne, my husband-" he made a pause kissing John in the cheek which made Bruce tighten his fist in his pocket, "-and I decided to attend the Christmas Party to celebrate our proposal" 

"So you're not married, but you are fiances?" A tiny bit of relief washed over Bruce. What was the clown playing at? A week earlier Joker had being hanged over the moon with Batman after they kissed, and now found himself another guy to fuck after he broke up with Batman. He really has to talk to Joker as Batman. "True, but we are marrying next month" 

Joker saw through his act. It made him feel giddy and wanted, maybe he could send Ivy to that old bag of bones. He heard he likes earth and plants. Bah, Joker never was into plants like Harley, he was more into Bats, not real ones of course. He giggled at the thought of his Bat dressed in fur instead of kevlar. 

Bruce looked at him and flirted back "Well, good thing you catched this beautiful lady before anyone took her away." He grabbed Joker's hand and kissed him. Even with all his training, Bruce couldn't stop those ugly feelings surfaring. 

He shouldn't feel the want to bite that pale skin, or grab his tights to erase any other pair of hands. Or the need that surfaced deep in his heart to rip Johny's hands from Joker's back. 

Joker was over the moon barely containing his glee at those pink puffy lips that graced his hand. Johny tried to act mad and said "Yeah, good thing she's mine" 

Something animalistic made Bruce step forward but someone familiar called him. "Bruce! Here you are, I was waiting to dance with you!" Barbara called to his left. "Ah, yes, Miss Gordon this is John and Miss Kerr" 

Barbara undoubtedly came to save Bruce sensing the tension between the three but Bruce needed to separate Joker from John to figure out what he was planning. Joker may kill Bruce Wayne after he mocked Joker on Arkham. He should've known J may want to take revenge. J? He froze then forced himself to smile. 

Nevermind he was acting out of the ordinary with this John. "You must know John, I heard he needs to learn dance" John growled and Joker snickered. 

Barbara gave him a questioning look. Before she could take him away Joker added "You must be the girlfriend of the guy who was in the chandelier!" Joker said in that mocking tone that only the rich do. 

Bruce froze as well as Barbara. Was Dick on the chandelier? He hadn't seen him in the ball all night. His comm was down on the cave. 

Wait, Joker may identify Dick as Nightwing because of the acrobat part. Something cold washed over Bruce. Did Joker know? Is that why he hasn't tried to kill Brucie? Bruce studied his eyes for any indication that he knew. 

Joker, of course, was too hurt to act his cheery self whenever he was with Batman for Bruce to know that Joker does indeed know who he is. Nonetheless, he pointed up and Bruce followed seeing Dick on the roof. What? 

Barbara shot him a look and he acted quickly. He knows Joker wouldn't spill the story to the press but Barbara doesn't know he is the Joker. And he can't let her know she is the Joker because he has to talk to Joker alone, or at least separate him from John. 

"May I dance with you Miss Kerr?" He lifted his hand up which Joker gradly took. Barbara took John to probably convince him of not selling the story to the press. 

Joker had Batsy where he wanted him and so made a signal to John to leave the party after he danced with the gal. Leaving Joker and Bruce alone in the gala in each other's presence. 

Joker felt his Bats hold his back and pull him close. Bruce smelled of that ridiculous perfume to mask the smell of sweat and kevlar. Huh, he had done it at night to beat criminals. Did he look for me? He thought sadly. He breathed his scent warming and relaxing himself. Now everything was ok. Joe Kerr only had to play with Brucie Wayne. 

And oh, Joker hadn't realized before but now, it feels like his chest wants to explode. Having the bat in his arms, it makes him want to choke and cry all over again because why did Bruce propose to the Cat if he wanted Joker? If he kissed Joker? Joker wasn't so sure Batsy loved him anymore, but he had to try right? He couldn't let him get away; it was what he always did. Lure the Bat to spend time with him. Make elaborate crimes to show Bruce that Joker loved him. 

But he proposed to Selina. He broke his heart, and Joker was tired, so tired of always playing this game. Of always being the one to do things for his Bat. It was nice to be treated like this, like a lady. Like someone who deserves the world, like Harley treated him. 

But he couldn't just let go? Could he? Without him nothing makes sense. 

Bruce felt something akin to sadness. Watching Joker of all people getting sad. Because when had Bruce ever seen Joker depressed? Right now while they danced to the beat of the music, the clown's eyes lacked their usual brightness. And all his energy felt drowned. Like he was exhausted deep in his bones. Even the makeup couldn't conceal the eye bags. 

"I love the dress" 

"Do you?" 

"Yes" 

"Many women come with dresses Mr. Wayne. You say that to every girl that dances with you? Even married ones?" 

"Ah, no, and you're still a girlfriend Miss Kerr" 

"Doesn't mean I'm single Mr. Wayne" Joker shot back. Was Batsy flirting with him? 

Upon seeing Bruce's shocked expression, Joker giggled in his most femenine voice. "Oops, I'm so sorry!" 

Dick practically shoved the drink to Joker's dress into a failed attempt to drive her away. "Don't worry Miss Kerr, I'll clean you" Bruce said quickly glaring at Dick. 

Dick just froze and left in apology. Bruce shouldn't be that hard with him but he needs to stay close to Joker besides Dick is grounded because he said so. What the hell was he doing on the chandelier? Again. 

"Come with me" 

Bruce pulled him to one of the many rooms of the Manor. He grabbed the cloth and cleaned Joker's chest. "You're blushing Brucie" 

He blushed more feeling very turned on by touching his chest and the fake boobs. "Is it the boobs?" he asked obscenely. Buce choked but masked it by coughing. Bruce said nothing and cleaned Joker's back. 

Joker noticed that Bruce came closer to clean him and blushed knowing well the feeling of having his Bats pressed against him. 

Bruce stumbled on the heels and fell on top of Joker. Tomato, Joker thought. He laughed and Bruce shot him a dirty look, but he didn't get away. 

Joker can easily kill Bruce now that they are alone. He has to act quickly. He must play his playboy persona to distract him. 

"Miss Kerr" he pressed closely to Joker's personal space. He tried anything to calm down his beating heart the closer he got to that dress trying not to imagine him in the Arkham cell. "Yes Mr. Wayne?" 

"Please call me Bruce" Joker batted his eyelashes. Bruce made his decision and pressed forward to Joker's or Miss Kerr's lips. 

Joker's mind stopped, everything from the bats outside the mansion to the fireplace stopped. Even his heart stopped for a second when Batman's or Brucie's lips touched his. It was nothing like their fights, it was slow and intimate. So intimate like their last kiss. 

However, Joker felt his heart constrict all the same. His Bats had kissed him on that roof just to discard him later. What if he discarded him again? Plus he wasn't even a woman, and the way his Bat's hands moved to his back and his ass, it was clear he wanted to stick his batarang on him. Shit, he stopped the kiss. 

"Bruce, Brucie, I'm not per say a woman." 

That's right, it's the Joker and Bruce Wayne isn't supposed to know. This was his opportunity to let Joker go. But did Bruce really want to let him go? He already tried with Selina to forget about Joker, but the only thing he managed was to get jealous of Johny. Bruce wasn't supposed to feel this way about the man who killed his son. But he did and now recognized it. He had denied himself what he truly wanted, but now that he had Joker tightly pressed against him... 

Bruce hugged him tightly without letting him go, "You'll be surprised that I don't care, Miss Kerr." 

He made his decision. 

Joker's eyes went from fear to surprised, and so he finally locked his lips with Bruce. Joker wanted him so much, since the rooftop. 

Bruce's hands were touching his hips. Almost like he was hungry for touching Miss Kerr specifically. Though Joker did not have time to question it because a hand squeezed his ass and he yelped. 

Strong hands lifted the dress and tore down his boxers. Then Joker opened Bruce's pants and touched his dick making Bruce gasp. 

They kissed again while Bruce tore down his own pants. 

Bruce pushed inside making Joker stop his thoughts. ,"Yesss" The man pushed his cock into Joker's entrance. He was completely red by the thought of his Bats touching him in that area. 

"That's right Bruice, so good, s-AGH-H!" Bruce suddenly thrusted all his length into Joker making him cry out in a mess of saliva and tears. It was too big, and he felt too full. It was too much for him to take because he could feel it inside being pressed by his wet canals. Much bigger than Johny's. 

"It is bigger than your fiance, mmm, Miss Kerr?" Bruce said breathlessly and completely possessive. "Yes, yes, Brucie, fuck" 

Joker felt shivers through his body while he moaned loudly at being fucked with that batarang. The dick inside him made him moan until he couldn't breath. The sensation was too much because he couldn't think straight, his fantasies were always tender but this, this was violent and dirty like their dance. 

Bruce got it out very fast which made Joker whim and shake. 

He felt the hard erection slowly penetrating his wet and slick tiny hole again. This time, slowly, which made Joker feel the sensation of being fulfilled. 

Fluids were everywhere as he arched his back. His nerves were being pulled out of him. Pleasure shot through his spine as his throat expelled a moan. Bruce kissed him from the neck all the way down to his ass. 

His hand hot and warm grabbed inside the purple dress, until it pressed on his balls up to his penius. He squeezed it tightly making Joker moan loudly. 

Then suddenly, Bruce stood and grabbed Joker's hips to thrust mercessly into him. Bruce wanted nothing but to erase Johnny's imprints and claim Joker even if Joker didn't know who he was. Miss Kerr choked on her own saliva while her eyes widened at the action. Joker screamed unable to contain his lungs. 

The bat began thrusting him fast and hard. He felt pleasure mixed with his broken moans. But then the bat hitted that spot many talked about, and Joker cried out in ecstasy, his pupils widened, his mouth opened and his mind went completely blank. He was surprised at the electric feeling of his G spot. 

The bat started to hit his prostate again. Joker began screaming with each thrust. He felt sparkles through his ass all the way up to his spine. It was like fireworks in his body. 

"AHH" the man thrusted him with full force. 

"AGH-AH! YE-GAH" 

Joker screamed again and again. "Ah, Mm, AH, Ah, Ah" His lungs opened and closed until he choked. He choked, and moaned at the same time. 

Joker's body moved violently with each thrust. His head went up and down with each push through his wet canals. He could hardly believe this was happening. He would never thought in a million years that Batman would fuck the living daylights out of him. 

Bruce felt Joker shake and close his canals. It became too much and Bruce exploded with his orgasm hands never leaving Miss Kerr's arms. 

Shit 

He jerked Miss Kerr's dick until she cummed loudly. It was everything Bruce needed. He felt satiated and content with himself. 

Looking down at Kerr, he saw Joker slumping on the couch wordlessly trying to regain his breath. 

After a few moments, Bruce fell to the side trying to regain his breath. Suddenly the golden ceiling became very interesting. 

Everything came crashing down on the Joker. This was only sex, Bruce didn't know who he was. He would be disgusted, after all, the Bat broke his heart. What if he only used him for sex? To forget about Selina Kyle. Joker shook his head and put on his heels. Joker could not endure his heart broken again. He has to get out of here. 

Bruce looked at him puzzled. Why did Joker look unsatisfied? Did he say something wrong? Was it Johny? Maybe if he was on the cowl Joker would've reacted differently. 

A hand stopped Joker. "Why are you leaving?" 

Right, Joker can't just go. "This is wrong, I shouldn't have done this" he meant it by heart, why would he want Bruce Wayne? Brucie thought he was Miss Kerr plus didn't know Joker knows his identity. "My fiancee is waiting" he lied, and didn't look Bruce in the eye and instead walked out. 

Bruce stayed motionless where he was. Does Joker really want John? How did they meet anyways? Maybe he should check the cameras at Arkham, maybe he has to check the credibility of the doctor. 

The cold dread made the way into his chest. Joker didn't like it. He didn't like the sex, and what did that mean? It meant he hated Bruce. Didn't Bruce call him a monster on Arkham? Didn't Batman break his heart? 

He froze. Batman. Joker was hurt because of Batman. How didn't he see it before? His far away eyes, his tiredness, the way he didn't really dance with Bruce but let him guide. Joker loved to dance. 

Joker wanted to forget about him. It explained why he never used the opportunity to kill Bruce Wayne. He was avoiding the Bat. While he used John as a distraction. Dammit. Bruce has to... Bruce has to fix this. Joker does have feelings even if the clown doesn't look like he has them. Of course he would be heartbroken if the person of his obsession left him and beat him after they kissed. 

His head felt fuzzy and his stomach turned. He could feel the bile on his throat. Bruce beat him after he kissed him, without an explanation or a sorry. Joker was in his hideout, resting. 

Come to think of it, Joker did not commit any crimes after Batman kissed him. Bruce dropped to his knees, Joker tried to stay on his good side for Bruce, and what did Batman do? Beat him like always. Discarded him like always, worst Bruce tried to marry Selina to forget about him. 

It was a total mess, and he didn't know how to fix it.


	4. The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a chrismas special eh?
> 
> No.
> 
> Just heartbroken promises

Footsteps of heels could be heard throughout the hallway. And then the chilly night. His vision blurred while his chest felt heavy. Tiny salty drops fell to the hard rock while Joker walked from the manor to the car. "Boss?" 

Sob. "Drive me out of here Johnny." Joker curled up on the back seat trying to not suffocate with his saliva. John drove to their hideout silently worried for his boss. Even if he had threatened to kill him, John did have empathy unlike the clown. 

Joker looked at the buildings of Gotham. They reminded him of Batman, everything reminded him of his Batsy, no, Batman. This city was his after all. Could Joker bear breathing in the same city as Brucie? 

He got out of the car walking into the warehouse decorated by Harley. He threw the heels to some place that he didn't bother to find out and relished the feeling of his feet resting from the heels. 

Then, he jumped into bed without bothering to change. "I can't sleep without pills" he groaned

"JOHNNY, BRING ME PILLS!" The Joker snatched the pills from Johnny and ate 10 pills. "Boss!" 

"What!" Joker snapped. 

Johny thought it better and said nothing then sorry then left hoping that Joker died freeing him from the Jester.

* * *

Bruce paced on the room. The gala was early, which means Batman can fix things between him and Joker. Dick had once told him to think positive and that would fix his issues. Bruce believed and trusted him. Because deep down he knows Dick always mends things between everyone in the family. _Think like Dick _. Joker doesn't know about the engagement, otherwise the clown wouldn't have respected Bruce's morals and would've hunted Selina down while bringing Gotham down with the rest of them.__

__

__"I need a speech. I'm not good at talking feelings"_ _

__Even as he drove to the Joker's last hideout, his speech wasn't as good as he wanted it. He could lie about not being sure whether Batman wanted a relationship with his nemesis. But it ran deeper than that, Joker could never know who he was under the mask. Because then Joker would know of Selina and throw everything they've worked so far down the drain. He couldn't know._ _

__Batman broke in through the window looking at Joker in a purple dress. "Joker"_ _

__He jumped out the bed with tears down his face. Batman tried to act surprised at the dress and the tears. Before Joker could say anything, Batman started "Joker I know I beat you up after we kissed. I wanted to say that I am willing to try and apologize for-"_ _

__Joker laughed brokenly, sounding so different from any other laugh Bruce had ever heard coming out of those ruby lips. "You're willing to try." Batman didn't understand, Joker should want this, even if he was hurt; he spended years yearning for his bat, and now a simple beating that usually made Joker excited... destroyed his feelings? Something was missing here, something important._ _

__"What do you think that kiss was for me?"_ _

___What. _"Joker that kiss meant nothing we can try something better than a simple kiss"__ _ _

____"Did ya think that I would forget about it like it meant nothing to me!" Bruce flinched internally, not used to having Joker hurt by his actions. It was always the other way around._ _ _ _

____Where was the problem, Batman was willing to try. Maybe he read the situation wrong and Joker was more hurt than usual. But this, when Bruce looked deep into Joker's eyes._ _ _ _

____"What the hell-"_ _ _ _

____They weren't just heartbroken, they were lifeless and filled with real hatred. In fact, Joker looked disgusted at him, and... and like someone who was crushed. Crushed their heart and threw it like nothing. This wasn't the Joker, he wasn't-_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"-did you thought-"_ _ _ _

____"Joker!"_ _ _ _

____"'would happen-"_ _ _ _

____"I know-" He wanted to say that he knows how his reluctance hurt Joker, but Bruce doesn't understand._ _ _ _

____"-after you kissed me,-"_ _ _ _

____"I'm sorry-"_ _ _ _

____and then proposed to SELINA FUCKING KYLE!"_ _ _ _

____Bruce froze his expression shocked. _No. How?! Joker knows I'm- that I- oh _____ _ _

_______Oh ____ _ _ _ _ _

________"I-" _No, no. _Joker did respect his morals, and stayed good after the kiss. This realization made Bruce want to puke at his stupidness. It was like Joker said, Bruce never thought the kiss would change anything between them. Never thought it could change the Joker to act differently with Bruce. He should've known better. But he didn't kill Selina, he brooded like Bruce does and respected Bruce's morals. Then it suddenly became clear. The night at Arkham, Johny, the sex.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Fuck, Joker knew it was him. Joker had sex with him and then ran from the manor expecting Bruce to betray him. And Bruce tried to lie to him just now. Took advantage when he thought Joker didn't know about his engagement._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! For once in your fucking life listen!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"What?! did you thought I didn't know who you fucking are! Hah? Did you think that after everything we've been through, that I wouldn't recognize you! Baby Brucie I know you inside out. I don't even know why I care anymore" he rubbed his eye and walked backgrounds until he stopped at the wall._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________What could Bruce say to that? Joker caught him lying. _He knows who I am. Joker let me fuck him, oh my god, I called Joker a monster. Joker probably thought I meant it by heart. _But Joker is smarter than that.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"You think you can waltz in here asking for forgiveness and that your monotone speech that you probably came up within 5 minutes would make everything better so that we could buy a house and have babies and live happily ever after"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________I forgot how easily he can predict me. I made that speech in under 5 minutes. _"Joker I know you don't think that… relationships... you have to make them work"__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Way to make them work Bats. Marrying another! Where was I after you rudely interrupted! Oh yeah. You think you can give me hope of being better. Of having some sort of normality and happiness for once-"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________So that was it. What Bruce had asked himself years ago. If he could really change Joker for better. At least after they retired. "-leave me and marry the Cat. You're just some rich kid who thinks that after making a mistake, everyone will forgive him-"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Joker please!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"-Let's face it Bats, everything has been given to you on a platter" It's not true but Joker wants Bruce to feel broken like did, like he did after reading the news, no, does. Batman winced and Joker took some small pleasure from watching him look for words to make it better. _Ha! As if he could make it better. _"Heck, even your kids forgive you for being an abusive asshole. Didn't you beat your second kid senseless?"___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________How does Joker know that? "They come back crawling to you. But not me, I'm not like Harley, no I'm not. I'm not." He repeated it like a mantra. Then he stilled, and Bruce thought he was done but then he whispered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"You gave me hope, and then crushed it and reminded me that the world will always hurt me."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"That's not.." but it was. Bruce had hurt him. But Joker had also hurt him in the past. As if reading his thoughts, Joker added "I'm a monster and I know I don't deserve it" _Shit, so he thinks I called him monster by heart. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"But for a small second I thought we could... that we could.." Joker broke into sobs desperately trying to regain his breath. Bruce walked slowly towards him. "I almost said yes you know? after I shot the commish's daughter. I wanted it so bad, to be with you. But I said no, only because I wanted all of you, and to retire with you. But baby we're still young!." He laughed thinking of Jack Nappier, or Arthur Fleck, or the painted clown with scars. "Even if I never want my sanity back! I thought we could be two retired enemies!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"And then" he laughed, "you went and married Selina, crushed and twisted my heart. You stopped any chance of us being together our last years. Till' death do us apart!" he cackled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Well, Bruce thought, there goes my chance of helping him _It still hurt that Bruce could never walk alongside Joker showing the world their relationship. Be carefree with their affections. _But they'll never let us be together. _, his mind whispered. And so Bruce has to be fine with Joker, accept all of him, including his insanity. After all, Bruce loves his craziness the most and now that he thinks about it, he wouldn't have it another way. Bruce was never meant for normal relationships anyways.____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________"But you've proven my point. That it doesn't matter that I am a criminal mastermind, I will never have happiness. The world will always kick me down and favor you because you're some rich kid who wanted to be like the rest of us. Because let's face it Bats, knowing the consequences, you became Batman. You could've chosen to be normal and live far away from any problems. But you didn't"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________The vat of chemicals. I made him who he is. I hurt him more than Gotham ever did. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________"You're not like us. Even after all the shit I've put you through. You can walk away from your little experiment, but normal people can't do that."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Bruce knows Joker stopped his meltdown at being betrayed. _God I betrayed the person I love the most out of fear. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________And now... hearing those words, he doesn't mean them, not really _Joker wants me to hurt. _Bruce couldn't imagine how Joker must have felt when he saw the news.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Bruce didn't dare move an inch, until the sound of pills startled him. Looking down, he could see a bottle of sleeping pills on his toes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Empty._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________"How, how many pills did you take?" his voice waived understanding how deep he had failed Joker. How he failed not to hurt him. Just like he fails always. Dick, Jason, Barbara, Damian... and now Joker._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________"Just how arrogant are you Batman?! I wouldn't kill myself over you!" Except they both know it's a lie. Carefully crafted for those who don't know Joker on a personal level. And the pills showed it. Bruce tried not to think about the lump forming on his throat, or the tears on his eyes. Of course Bruce couldn't stand the thought of Joker killing himself because of Bruce._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Bruce quickly assessed the scene, pills gone, the lifeless eyes, Joker looking drowned out of energy. _He's falling asleep _, he realized, and so Bruce started to panic.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Joker yelped as Bruce took him in his arms but Joker reacted quickly and with one furious cry he threw Bruce across the room in an attempt to get away from the Bat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________But he stumbled because he felt tired deep in his bones. Too tired. He can't see Batman's expression anymore. He blinks a few times but it doesn't help. Even his legs give out and he slides through the wall._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________He only feels a pair of strong arms catch him and Batman calling his name in a panic before everything goes black._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	5. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of the fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be fair, I know this short. But I already have more chapters planned for the future. 
> 
> Spoiler: Selina vs Joker

Joker woke up coughing so Bruce hurried to give him water but a frenetic Joker threw Bruce to the ground. 

Bruce quickly got up. "Calm down Joker." 

"Why am I in your fancy cave Brucie?" 

Bruce sighed mentally. A new nickname already. At least he's still giving me nicknames. 

Bruce has never been rejected before, so his heart tearing up slowly makes him want to disappear in his seat until there is nothing of him left. 

Joker watches him with accusing eyes, and Bruce can't look at him in the eye, so looks away. 

The clown isn't even sorry for taking those pills. And god, Bruce has to breath deep to not vomit in the batcave floor and make a fool out of himself again. No wonder Joker gave him the cold shoulder, but to commit suicide? The clown's cheerful and loud personality gave him the appearance of an invisible being. But then again Bruce saw those shiny eyes lack any bright. Bruce often forgot how much people hide behind smiles. And Joker isn't the exception. He wished he could've see it earlier. Batman looked at Joker, his eyes still lacked any warm and love that he held once for his Batsy. 

Bruce's lips twitched downwards while he tried to set them straight. Absolutely failing like he failed Joker. While he watched those eyes so numb and empty. 

For once in his life, the Joker is quiet. And Bruce wants him to say anything, be angry, sad, whatever. But not silently watching him and accusing him of proposing to his ex. A sin. 

When he looks up again. His judgemental stare has a new hatred deep in his orbs, and Bruce can't- he just can't- 

The Joker sighs and rubs his eyes. Bruce jumps but keeps quiet anyway. What was he supposed to say? Say sorry again? 

"You know I love you Bruce" 

That makes his mind stop, and he's no longer tense. And there is hope blooming in his gut- 

"But I can't forgive you" 

He flinches, jaw set. Bruce knows this feeling well, he's closing off, and he did. 

"I'll drop you in Arkham" 

They silently drove to the asylum. Joker looking out the window, and Bruce wishing to know how to make it better. 

He won't let go of Joker that easily. They didn't dance this song for 20 yrs in vain. "Joker" 

"I know you don't want to forgive me, and I know what I did was unforgivable. But... I need to know... if there is a chance you'll ever forgive me" 

It was hard saying these words. Bruce risked glancing at Joker again, his body tense. 

"I want you to know... that I proposed to Selina because I was scared of having a new relationship with you. Our rules would've changed..." 

This made Joker look at him, but Bruce was already looking at the road. Afraid to see the same hatred there. 

"I don't-I don't love her Joker. She always gashlighed me. Maybe that's why I was infuriated with her, or maybe it was the pressure from anyone to get a wife. My children, Wayne enterprises, the media...  
I do love you Joker." 

Bruce couldn't see the awe in Joker's eyes. 

Because Joker looked away again. "Give me time." 

It was all Bruce needed to hear.

* * *

At any situation Joker would've grinned, but today he felt like shit. He wanted to scream, bury his fits in the Dark Knight until he felt the pain Joker did. He felt rage. Pure rage. How dared he? How. Dare. He? Acting like nothing, ha, happened? Like he didn't propose to the cat? Like Brucie didn't kissed and slept on the same room as Kyle while Joker slept on the fucking cold floor of Arkham wondering if Batman would send him roses and chocolate. He wanted to tear his hair in frustration and kick him until he understood how much Joker loved him, how much he trusted him. How much Joker wants Batman to love him. Now Joker knows, that the bat would never change, never. He was Brucie playboy Wayne Batman rodent at night and he was the clown prince of crime, the Joker, a wild card! 

They were enemies! Frenemies! Never lovers. 

If it weren't for the pills, Bats would be play dooh by now. But he settled on throwing him to the ground. He can't and shouldn't hit him like he did with Harley. Joker won't hit his darling in pure rage no matter how broken he feels. Like a discarded cake after one bite! Or balloons that are deflated no longer apt to play with! 

Bruce quickly got up. "Calm down Joker." 

_Never._

"Why am I in your fancy cave Brucie?" 

He looks straight at Batman's eyes opting to translate his feelings of betrayal and hurt deep in his bones. How much he cried as he was fucked by Johny while Joker tried to think Batsy was the one fucking him. But he couldn't quite hallacunate his bats like the other times, the only thing he could think about was his bat fucking the cat in the same room when it should have been him. 

HIM! Him that made the most elaborate plans to see him at least for a few minutes! Him who didn't fucking gashlighed him every time Batman discarted him like trash! The cat doesn't even appreciate Bats! She left him again and again. Joker never did that! He was there! Always! Always with him! Always beside him! 

He broke his finger at the realization. Like a dog with a leash, only to be played and toyed with when his owner wants to. 

Joker deflated like a balloon. _Like a dog with a leash. Isn't that ironic? Huh, Darling? That you throw me like trash like I did with Harley? Oh the irony!_

_Fool me once, fool me twice..._

_I'm fucked. Joker thought. What if I forgive him and then-_

Bruce murmurs something but Joker doesn't hear him, doesn't want to hear him. _I'm carefully trying not to kill you darling! Can you shut up for a minute! I'm trying to think!_

_-then he will fail me again..._

_I'm not like Harley, no, no, I'm not, I've never been!_

_I'm not like HARLEY! NO I'M NOT_

_I C-CAN'T FORGIVE HIM_

_but I love him_

_Fuck._

Joker rubs his eyes to stop the salty tears running down his cheeks. 

"You know I love you." 

_I-I don't know what to tell you darling. He knows I love him... but I won't be like Harley, no, I won't._

"But I can't forgive you" 

He sees the Bat flinch, but instead of feeling satisfaction, Joker feels more hurt to hurt his darling, and then, then he feels the rage once more at loving him too much. Though, he isn't stupid, Joker knows that he feels angry at himself, for being like Harleen. 

"I'll drop you in Arkham" 

They silently drove to the asylum. And Joker looked anywhere but Batman. Not his heart broken face when Joker basically told him never again. But Joker knows his darling better than anyone would, and he knows that he is closing off. Shame, Joker wanted him to hurt more, but he guesses Batman never felt a thing for him. Not like Joker did, nor like Harley did for him. 

"Joker" 

The clown almost, almost jumps out of his skin, but he manages to stop shaking by tensing up. 

"I know you don't want to forgive me, and I know what I did was unforgivable. But... I need to know... if there is a chance you'll ever forgive me" 

Like Joker would ever be Harley. 

"I want you to know... that I proposed to Selina because I was scared of having a new relationship with you. Our rules would've changed..." 

He did it for me? Joker turned and looked for any lies. Nothing. Is he serious? Is this how his brats feel whenever Bats pushes them away? 

"I don't-I don't love her Joker. She always gashlighed me. Maybe that's why I was infuriated with her, or maybe it was the pressure from anyone to get a wife. My children, Wayne enterprises, the media..." 

Joker felt the temperature drop. If Bats did this for them... it means he didn't do it out of his own happiness. Then that means that the cat doesn't make him happy, Joker does. Worst, Bruce stayed with the cat, a woman. He huffed in silence. Of course, how couldn't he see it earlier?! His Bats was obviously pressured into it! How could he want a relationship after being- after being... by that bitch. Bats obviously needed Joker more than Joker needed him. If what he said was true, then Joker could keep any claws away from Bruce. And maybe heal him. 

Joker fought with himself, he can break people and stitch them back together. He can help him by sticking his broken pieces back... but, will Bruce not fail him again? 

"... I do love you Joker" 

And then he opened his eyes in surprise. Joker studied him, like he studied his therapists to mess with them. It was the truth. Didn't he say he would do anything for his bats? Maybe help him. 

So Joker looked away again. "Give me time." 

It apparently made the Bat shut up. Joker felt wanted, when he knew his Batsy is scared to open his mouth and mess it up on the way to Arkham. 

Joker wasn't like Harley, was he?


End file.
